The National Quandary

The National Quandary

Fox News Host Accused Of Respecting Women

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ROCKEFELLER CENTER, NY – Widespread reports throughout the mainstream media are abuzz with new revelations that embattled entertainment station, Fox News, has recently employed an anchor who apparently respects women.

The news came as a shock across media outlets throughout the country, but multiple trusted sources have confirmed the well-adjusted attitude of the new mysterious personality.
An associate producer, who wished to remain unnamed, told The National Quandary that after exchanging phone numbers with the man, she has yet to receive a single suggestive text message or dick pic.

“Usually around here, it’s only a few hours before I receive something lewd and inappropriate on my phone, but it’s been a little over a month now. Honestly, it had me on edge for a while. When you expect the harassment, and it doesn’t happen, it kind of throws you off. He looks me in the eye and values my opinions. I actually enjoy being at work for the first time in eight years!”

A newsroom show writer, who wished to be identified as Kristin, Told TNQ that none of her interactions have involved talking about the anchor’s past escapades. “He’s asked about how my family is doing, what restaurants are good in the city, and given me some really thoughtful advice. When you’re used to hearing about Caribbean shower fantasies and sexual acts involving falafel, it’s a nice change of pace.”

Shortly after the story broke, additional women have come out in droves with showering praise for their new coworker, also citing the overall pleasant interactions without diving into the realm of loofa mitt rubdowns, masturbation lessons, or stories involving Scandinavian stewardesses.
Attempts to speak to the unicorn Fox News personality were unsuccessful as representatives for the anchor expressed their concern over being outed or possibly fired from the network for his adult and responsible behavior.

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